How do you tell clients no without really saying no?

Recently I was consulting with 2 board members about an upcoming leadership retreat as we were discussing potential agenda items, one of them told me: “You know how to say no to us without really saying no – and coming from a surgeon that’s impressive.” 😊 (He’s a surgeon.)

Wow!! I wasn’t expecting that wonderful feedback! I wasn’t even aware that I was doing that – it’s something that’s become natural for me after a lot of practice. I reflected on how I did that and what I said. Here what I noticed:

1.     In response to some suggestions of activities for the retreat: “I think the group would be better served if we sequenced these activities differently.”
2.     Regarding the idea of adding an activity on a completely different topic, I said: “That would depend on the desired outcomes and whether that’s a priority right now.”   (It wasn’t.)
3.     Concerning a proposal of having participants complete a survey in advance, I suggested that they could reflect on the topics and take notes, but that it would be most valuable to discuss these topics verbally during the retreat – and they agreed with me.

So that’s what led to his wonderful feedback. I was able to guide their suggestions towards a better fit without it feeling like pushback or a rejection. I’m delighted to realize that.

If you’re planning something and you need someone to be able to redirect suggestions that will serve the group better, contact me. I’d be glad to help.