Sitting with the discomfort: What’s your experience of trying to change your behavior?

Let’s say you’re a manager wanting to get better at delegating, which, for you, means being able to let go of control and trust that your team member will deliver a good product. Or you’re a parent watching your child make mistakes, wanting to warn them or be more directive so they can avoid those mistakes.

So you decide to “try out” a new behavior: letting go of control and being less directive. Great!
But then you spend energy worrying: Will my staff member do it right? Will I have to clean up after them?
Or, will my child make mistakes? How will I deal with my desire to protect them and help them be successful from the getgo?

Sound familiar?

When we’re worried about these changes, we usually feel uncomfortable; we know “the right way” and we have to sit on our hands as we see others dealing with their own learning process. With our children we carry a stronger emotional investment which makes it harder to witness their mistakes. And yet – THIS is the learning process. Our team members and our children need to be able to make mistakes, recover from them, learn how to solve problems and build resilience.

What does it take to sit on our hands? We need to learn to “sit with the discomfort”. We may feel restless or impatient wanting to step in.

I find that just discussing this with my coaching clients helps prepare them and we can also strategize about how best to do that.

Your turn:  How have you learned to “sit with the discomfort”? 
Coaches: How do you help your clients with that?